We’ve all been told about the "stages" of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. It sounds like a neat little staircase you climb, checking off boxes until you reach the top and you're magically cured. But anyone who has actually lost someone knows that is complete nonsense. Grief isn’t a staircase. It’s a river. If you are struggling to make sense of the chaos inside your head right now, I want to share a different theory with you, one that makes a lot mor

I usually walk beside people who have lost a loved one. Day in and day out, my work as a bereavement companion is anchored in the heaviest of human experiences, helping people navigate the quiet, crushing emptiness that follows a death. But lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the other phone calls I get. The conversations that start with a hesitant, guilty apology: "I know nobody died, John, but our wedding was cancelled, and I feel physically sick with grief." "I lost my

When you are the person standing next to someone who has just lost the centre of their world, a wave of panic usually hits. You want to fix it. You want to take away the sharp edge of their pain. So, out of pure kindness and a desperate desire to comfort them, you reach for the standard phrases we’ve all been taught to say: "They’re in a better place now." "At least they aren't suffering anymore." "Everything happens for a reason." "You have to be strong now." They are beauti

We live in a world that is obsessed with fixing things. If a tap leaks, we call a plumber. If a bone fractures, a doctor sets it in plaster. If a computer glitches, we reboot it. Because we are surrounded by a culture of "solutions," it’s only natural that when we experience a profound loss, we expect the same rules to apply to our hearts. We treat grief like a massive, jagged mountain. We tell ourselves that if we just push hard enough, do the emotional work, and climb high

When you are going through a profound loss, your phone usually lights up with variations of the exact same text message. “Thinking of you.” “Sending love.” “Please give me a call if you need anything at all.” These messages come from a place of genuine love. Your friends, neighbours, and colleagues care about you deeply. They see you carrying an unimaginable weight, and they want to help. But as a bereavement companion, I hear the secret truth from grieving people every singl

If you are reading this in the quiet hours of the night, holding a heavy heart and wondering when the pain will finally stop, I want to tell you something you might not have heard yet: You are not doing this wrong. When we lose someone we love, well-meaning friends, books, and movies often tell us about the "five stages of grief." We are told we will move from denial to anger, bargain a little, dip into depression, and finally arrive at a neat little finish line called accept